Each moment is an invitation to mindfulness. Sometimes we accept.

This weekend I went to a training in Motivational Interviewing -- which is a strange name for a simple and profound way of being with a client that helps you get out of your own way, explore and resolve ambivalence, and be able to make the improvements you want in your life.

A new day, a new inspiring leaf-in-a-stream picture

A recurring theme in the training, or perhaps simply one I was especially primed to notice, was the idea of letting go of perfection, and allowing the good-enough (which “any” is, inherently) to imperfectly unfold. One person talked of the “need” to floss daily, and how this often stops us from doing it on any day. Similarly, another spoke of wanting to re-start a movement practice after an injury, but continued to not do any because she hadn’t yet found the “right” one. Over and over again, we examined this tendency, and laughed in love at ourselves, because here we were, a group of mindfulness-inclined practitioners, and we knew the futility of this line of thought -- yet experienced it anyway, because we too are perfectly flawed beings.

And so in that spirit I blog today -- despite months of “I’ll restart soon, really” and of too-good intentions blocking good-enough actions, and despite not knowing what I will do tomorrow, next week, next month.

Because as my clients and I practice in the room, there is only this moment, this “now” that is gone as soon as we think of it. “Shoulds” for the future and guilt or shame for the past pull us out of this moment, and we miss this opportunity for action.

Ah, but look -- here comes another now, and another chance. I think, for today, I will take it, and let go of when I did not blog, and the need to know whether I will tomorrow.

What is pulling you out of this moment and the action you want to take right now? What might happen if you forgave yourself, right now, for not having done it yet?

"Life is what happens to us when we're making other plans"

And oh boy did I have plans -- for expanding my hours, for continuing education, for workshops and classes and marketing, oh my.

Life is not a straight line

And then my spouse had a stroke.

First: he's doing great, and he's expected to have a full or near-full recovery. The stroke only affected his coordination and balance, not cognition or memory. After 11 days in the hospital and intensive in-patient rehabilitation, he's home, and our children (and he and I!) couldn't be happier about that.

But still: he had a stroke. And though things are getting back to normal, it's a new normal, and for a while the new normal will involve accommodations for his healing brain. Which means rescheduling workshops and classes, postponing CEs, and for a few months, reducing my hours.

I look forward to continue to work with you to reduce pain, practice mindfulness, and help you feel better in your body and about yourself.

In wellness, wherever we find it,
-Arwyn

Upcoming events:
Chair massage at Fat Fancy
Fall in Body Love Workshop

AND: Help us set a new Well Now class time by filling out this short survey!

Introducing Well Now, a non-diet approach to improve your health and make peace with food

I don't know about you, but I had quite the busy winter break, with lots of ups and downs and life-turn-arounds. But we're back to the usual wonderful routine now, full of massage and laughter and food and family -- and soon, facilitating a great wellness class!

The Well Now course has been helping people improve their health, confidence, and compassion in the UK for years. Now, thanks to Lucy Aphramor and the USA's own Linda Bacon, I've been lucky enough to receive the training and licensing to offer it here in Portland, Oregon.

About Well Now:

Do you want to transform your relationship with food?

Well Now is an 8 session course that helps people feel better about their eating and weight using a non-diet approach called Health At Every Size (HAES). You can read more on HAES practice here [pdf].

It teaches you how to:

Tune into your body signals
Embrace body respect
Replace eating guilt with gentle nutrition
Move from food panic to food autonomy
Heal from body shame
Practice mindful eating
Explore the bigger picture of health and wellbeing
Learn compassion for yourself and others

This 8 week course will be offered Sundays 2-4pm starting February 16th, 2014.

The cost of the course is $360, but if you register by January 22, 2014, you can take this life-changing class for just $295. Class limited to 10 people, so sign up now!

Imagine:

• Eating effortlessly and healthfully, without struggle or guilt.
• Enjoying movement, rather than using it as punishment for "indulgence".
• Feeling confidence and pleasure in your body right now, exactly as it is.
• Improving your relationships, as compassion and justice replace criticism and judgment.
• Taking real steps to improve your health in measurable ways, like lower blood pressure and blood sugars, without restrictive food rules.

It may sound like a dream, but it can be reality. Join me to explore how to make it yours!

Contact Arwyn with any question or to sign up. Or, for your convenience you can register online now.

NaBloPoMo: Lessons

I've seen a whole lot of this in the past month

It's the end of NaBloPoMo 2013, and I've learned a few things about this blogging gig over the past month:

30 posts in 30 days, while working, taking classes, parenting, hosting the holidays, and having a partner switch jobs is not so much realistic. But I figure 28/30 is still pretty good.

Posting every day is not only challenging/impossible, it's also neither most effective nor most enjoyable. I'd say the point of blogging is to connect with you, the reader -- and to that end, having a new post every single day isn't particularly effective, as each gets lost behind the other, and particularly good posts, ones that have the potential to be truly useful for you, have too short a time in the sun and get too easily skipped. And while I've loved getting back into the blogging habit, the artificial urgency of posting every day isn't compatible with the calm, centered, supportive tone I want to offer you with this blog and in my practice (nor that I want to live with daily!).

Writing about massage just takes a shift in thinking. My previous blogging life was significantly more introspective (and yet also declamatory), which as +Dale Favier and I discussed early in the month is not so much compatible with the discretion and confidentiality we promise our clients. Yet when I shifted my thinking from me (my natural state as a human/American) to you (my natural state as a massage therapist), I realized there's so much I can write about, that feels both important to me and useful to you. Which brings us to:

There's a lot more I want to say, and I mean to say it. I'm nowhere near out of ideas for blog posts, for articles and suggestions that can help you with your health and body-positive journey. I think I made it maybe halfway through my collected-ideas list, and those were only the ones I thought important enough to jot down when I happened to be by the computer. So while the once-a-day posting schedule is officially over, stick around, because there's lots more blogging to come.

Holiday Shopping? Try Massage Gift Certificates!

Quality gift certificates for quality massage

Although I'm firmly and obviously of the opinion that massage is so much more than just a luxury, I know it can be hard for people who haven't yet realized the physical and mental health benefits of massage to lay down the money for that first appointment.

That's where you come in!

You, this gift-giving season, have the opportunity to offer the people on your list a chance for pain relief, for radical acceptance, for relaxation, for anxiety reduction, for feeling better in their bodies and feeling better about themselves.

I know you know someone who could use all that. And if they, and you, are very, very lucky, they're in or near Portland, Oregon, and you, smart cookie!, get to avoid holiday traffic and crowded queues and wrapping paper origami and tape entanglements and scissor accidents, because you, lucky duck!, are reading this now and get to cross that special someone off your list with just a few simple clicks.

See, I'll make it super easy for you:

What service would you like a gift certificate for?

70 Minute Massage $80.00 USD 90 Minute Massage $100.00 USD 30 Minute Pediatric Massage $40.00 USD 45 Minute Pediatric/Youth Massage $60.00 USD 70 Minute In-Home Massage (for Postpartum or Bedrest Only) $105.00 USD 90 Minute In-Home Massage (for Postpartum or Bedrest Only) $125.00 USD

Who is the lucky recipient?

Gift Message (Optional)

There! Now you can relax with your shopping done, knowing they get to relax in the care of fully capable hands (and elbows). Have some nog.

Happy holidays!

How to Eat Leftovers

You don't have to eat leftovers like this
(but you can, if you want)

Eat leftovers alone, with family, while laughing, because they're there.

Eat leftovers in candlelight, in the container, microwaved, creatively remixed.

Eat leftovers until you are full, until you remember that the pie will still be there tomorrow (or at least again next year), until you're done.

Eat leftovers even though you ate past comfort yesterday, because that was yesterday and today your body still needs fuel and you still deserve to find pleasure in nourishment.

Eat leftovers if you're lucky enough to have them, if you enjoy them, if you choose to.

Eat leftovers that have been properly refrigerated because food-borne illness will ruin your weekend.

Eat leftovers the way you eat everything else: for nutrition and with joy, because it's there and because you love it, slowly and mindfully if you have the time, with compassion and care and quickly if you don't. Eat until you have accomplished the goal that is your reason for eating: until you are no longer hungry, until you have sopped up that last bit of soup, until you're ready to go out and dance (or shop, or parent, or work, or walk the dog), until you can taste grandfather's pie and political rants and feel grandmother's gnarled hand holding yours.

Food is culture, food is care, food is calories, food is nutrition and nourishment, food is memory and family. And today, leftovers are food with all the work done yesterday. So eat leftovers without guilt or shame, in pleasure and compassion.

Bon appetit!

Picture by semarr, Creative Commons licensed.

Radical acceptance and frozen pie crusts

I've been sprinting for weeks, it feels like, pulled by business, family, household, partner, and personal needs. I've mostly stayed on the healthy-productive side of the line, but there have definitely been days when I veer into the frantic-counterproductive zone.

So today, I bought a pie crust. I bought croutons instead of loaves of bread to cut up and dry. I picked up a bottle of oil at the store I was in, rather than traveling to another store to refill a bottle I already had.

And I forgave myself. Laughing-loving-nonattachment compassion, for the beautiful ridiculousness of my desire to make an entire traditional turkey dinner from scratch, for my heartbreaking unnecessary guilt at "failing" to do so, for the way I pout and whine and resist forgiveness, resist rest, resist guidance back to center. How lovely I am in my messy humanity. How funny. How worthy.

I won't be making a pie crust this year. But I will be making space to breathe and be.

------

I'm also forgiving myself for not having a picture on this post.

What a massage therapist does

Balance many hats.
CC image by Small_Realm on Flickr

As a massage therapist, I:

fold sheets
sweep floors
scrub sinks
listen to very mellow music

learn carpentry
graphic design
and business administration

market
network
take notes
make calls

keep my fingernails ridiculously short

pour water
bring kleenex
witness your tears

empty the trash
pay bills
and always keep receipts

decorate
innovate
forget what I learned in school
(go back and learn the half that is helpful better)

stretch
rest
oil my elbows

smile
     because I want to
laugh
     because life is funny

and

sometimes
(when I get the chance)

help you
feel
amazing

In short: there is no job in the world I could possibly love more.

Belly Love

The Belly Project
A Celebration of Women, Mothers, and Reproductive Choice

Growing up, this poster hung (or, okay, most of the time was propped on the floor) in my parents' bathroom.

I would sit sometimes and just study it -- study the bellies, the bios, the birth histories captured in so few words. I would peer at the bodies pictured, and match the bellies I saw to the bellies of my mother, my aunts, my friends.

I'd study waistlines and pantlines and imagine the bellies hidden underneath: Would she look like top right? No no, maybe bottom right.

I'd sit and wonder, Which would mine become?

I sat and I stared and I found beauty in them all -- and in my mother, my aunts, my friends, my future self. I fell in love with bellies because of this poster.

It hangs now in my office bathroom. It's not an ideal thing -- not enough visible bodies of color, lacking an acknowledgement that not only women birth, that there are so many routes to motherhood -- but like the bellies pictured, like my belly, like yours, it is a beautiful, beloved thing.

Whoops -- or, how to keep dancing after a misstep

This is how everyone is staring at me -- in my mind.

I missed blogging yesterday altogether. That happens when I figure I'll do it after the movie, only to not get home until after midnight (hey, that ridiculous card game needed to be played afterward, over a plate of fried cauliflower!).

I have a historical tendency to run toward avoidance when I miss a deadline, a class, an appointment. I have a hard time coming back, of showing up and being vulnerable in front of my classmates, my editors, my therapists again, and in my mind plays an awful tape of all the horrible things I think they're thinking about me.

But, I get to be the (massage) therapist now. And yes, on rare occasion regulars don't reschedule when they said they'd planned to. And you know what I'm thinking?

I hope she's okay. 

I wonder if he's feeling better? 

Oh good, they must have found a great massage therapist closer to them.

And when they do come back? I'm so happy to see you!

That's it. Truly. I meet my clients with joy, with acceptance, with nonjudgment, however long it's been since I've seen them. And it occurred to me today, as I could feel my brain scrambling to climb on that old tired treadmill of self-recrimination -- don't I deserve the same?

Don't you?

I think I do. I think we do. And so I offer it to myself -- ah, that feels better, lighter -- and to you.

What have you missed out on recently? What projects or relationships have you built up stories in your mind about? What if you thanked those stories, and patted them on the head, and send them outside to play? What if you knew you were just fine the way you are, missed deadlines and all? What would you be freer to do?

If you feel comfortable, I'd love to read your answers in the comments. But there are no deadlines or demands here, only invitation, only welcome, only goodwill.

-------------

What's with the pic? Apparently, Flickr thinks "whoops" means "whooping cranes". This tickled me, and in the spirit of dancing with the missteps, I'm going with it. Creative Commons licensed, by NaturesFan1226.

Baby body love

Down to your tiny toddler toes.
CC image courtesy Dylan Parker on Flickr

I'm putting my shoes on, my 26 month old standing next to me, feet still bare. She wraps her arms around her chest, rubbing her hands down her pudgy sides, twisting and craning to see herself better, and declares: "I like my bo-dy! I like my bo-dy! Do you like my bo-dy, mom-my?"

Yes, sweetie. Yes I do.

May you feel this way forever. May you have a lifetime of such moments. May you be as in love with your body at 22 and 42 and 82 as you are now. For you are beautiful, child, your stocky rolly shapely perfectly imperfect body a miracle, a joy. May you always know it, down to your bones, down to your toes, down to your deepest truest you-ness. So may it be.

Transgender Day of Remembrance 2013

Each year on November 20th, we take time to remember and grieve those people who were murdered around the world in the past twelve months due to violent anti-transgender bigotry. As always, most of the murdered in the past year are trans women of color; this reflects something fundamental, and fundamentally flawed, about our world.

Please join me in taking this day to grieve these lost lives and remembering how much more work is needed to achieve justice for all. If there is a vigil close to you, please consider attending respectfully, if not to mourn then to honor and hold the space for those who do.

TDOR 2013 lists of the dead. (Trigger warning for brief descriptions of each person's murder.)

TDOR 2013 events and locations

In memory.

CC image courtesy spcbrass

The HAES Holiday Survival Guide, even if you're not in Portland Oregon!

There are some excellent parts of the holiday season.
CC image courtesy simplyla on Flickr

The autumn/winter holidays can be stressful for many, especially if food or body issues were a part of your childhood, and even more so if they remain part of your current family dynamics. Fortunately, two amazing women are here to help the holidays go more smoothly, in a body-positive, weight-neutral way -- and it's all online, so you can get the support you need no matter where you are or what your travel plans look like.

HAES® For the Holidays

Golda Poretsky is a Health at Every Size® coach who runs Body Love Wellness. This winter, she's offering a 30 day coaching program by email and Facebook to help you navigate all the challenges of food, family, and taking care of yourself in this stressful time. You can sign up now or in the next week, with the course starting the day before American Thanksgiving (perfect timing, no?). She's offering the course for $49, or a two payment plan of $25 each. What a great gift for to offer yourself -- and your family, as you keep your cool and stay calm and centered and with a sense of humor.

Movin' Easy Through the Holidays

Gillian of Mindfully Active is offering this group coaching program through December 31st to easily and joyfully keep moving (or bring movement into your life) during the holidays. Her body-positive online coaching supports you where you are now, and offers ways that are easy, enjoyable, and fast to incorporate more movement into your life. The program is a bargain at $10 for more than a month of support, with 50% of the proceeds being donated to the Tillamook County Women's Resource Center.

Here at Holding Space Massage

In the next weeks, I'll be posting more tips, suggestions, and encouragement for how to stay centered in and compassionate toward your body during this season of stress and celebration, family and frustration. And of course, nothing helps you feel better in your body and reduce your stress more than getting a massage. But I encourage you to make use of all the help you can get, and these are two affordable, accessible resources you can take with you wherever this holiday season takes you.

Note: I am not affiliated with either of these business, and do not receive any compensation for your participation in either of them. I have not yet experienced either of the courses myself and make these recommendations based on my observation of these two coaches as a fan of their online work.

5 questions to help you find a body-positive massage therapist

"There's treasure everywhere!" CC image by OdysseySeaGlass.com on Flickr

I get emails pretty regularly from people who have found my site and want to know if I know anyone who specializes in body-positive/fat-friendly/trans*-positive massage in their area. Sadly, most of the time I have to answer "no". I have dreams and plans of creating a referral network for just these sorts of inquiries, but that's likely years off from any usefulness. In the meantime, what's a person to do?

First, I want to say on behalf of my profession, most of us want to be welcoming to everyone. Most of us could not care less about what you look like. Most of us are in this work because we truly love massage, and bodies, and the dazzling diversity of humanity. Most of us are accepting, caring people, and most of the time it's just a matter of finding someone who offers the style of massage you're seeking.

That said, I understand how hard it is to live in a marginalized body, one that you may simultaneously be ashamed and protective of, and that you're not going to risk making yourself as vulnerable as you are on a massage table unless you know the therapist working with you is going to celebrate and welcome you specifically. And yet, there are a great number of therapists out there who may not advertise explicitly as body-positive, but nonetheless are compassionate, mindful, and welcoming. But how to find one?

To help you, here are five questions that can help you find a body-positive massage therapist to honor with a chance at working with you:

1) What is their massage focus?

Body-positive massage therapists come in all modalities: Swedish, Thai, shiatsu, and so on. But looking at what a therapist's treatment focus is will tell you a lot about the sort of massage you'll find there. I know several excellent massage therapists I'd be happy to go to if I had a sports or vehicle injury, but they're not who I'd pick to see when what I want to work on is healing the feeling that my body is betraying me. Scan their website or marketing materials, and see if they focus on sports, luxury, injury treatment (all legit focuses!), or if they acknowledge and work with the emotional component of massage. They might not use the phrases "body-positive", "Heath at Every Size" or "Transgender welcoming", but looking at their focus can help narrow down the field.

2) Do they offer "cellulite massage" or affiliate with weight loss products?

It's hard to be body-positive if you're also promoting the message that a body isn't good enough exactly as it is.

3) What does their intake form look like?

A caveat here that intake forms are surprisingly difficult to create and many therapists simply use a standardized one someone else has made to look professional. But for many of us, having an intake that reflects our values is important enough we put in the effort, and whether or not a therapist has done can tell you a lot. Look for open-ended questions rather than a list of pathologies and diseases. See if emotional experiences are mentioned, or if the form asks for your reason for coming for massage. Check if they ask for your gender or pronoun and whether they allow for a nonbinary or self-supplied answer. Are questions about pregnancy listed under "For female clients", or does the form allow you to answer the questions that are relevant to you, without rigid gender ideas?

(Many massage therapists offer their forms online; if they don't, as I do not yet, you can email or call and ask for a copy.)

4) What are reviewers saying about them?

Look on places like Google+ or Yelp for reviews. What are the good reviews loving about them? What are the reasons people didn't like them? Remember, a "bad" review from one person might be a matter of mis-match between the client and the massage therapist; you can learn just as much about someone by what people didn't like as what they did. If the raves are primarily about injury treatment, increased range of motion, or say something like "it hurt so much but was worth it!" you may have found a great massage therapist, but probably not one with the focus you're looking for.

5) What does the massage therapist say?

It's true, sometimes the best way to get answers is to simply ask. Of course no one is going to say they refuse to treat any decent client, but you can ask about their experience in working with people of size, or people with body image issues, whether they know much about dysphoria or trauma, and whether they consider their work primarily physical, or integrative, or ___? Talking with the practitioner will also give you a feel for whether you want to work with this person, whether they have existing expertise in your needs or not.

What did I miss? How did you find your amazing massage therapist? If you haven't yet, what are you willing to try to find one near you?

6 things you might not know about me

1) I am a huge, second-generation sci-fi/fantasy geek. My first three crushes were from Star Trek: The Next Generation. I know more about Doctor Who than any one person really needs to. I read probably 2-4 novels' worth of fanfiction a week (hey, it's cheaper than my dad's 2-7 hardback novels a week habit). And yes, my parents really did name me after an Elvish princess.

Sometimes I combine numbers 1 and 3
and create epically geeky knitting patterns

2) I've been with my lifemate since I was 16, and yet I still have to stop my eyes from rolling when someone talks about their "high school sweetheart".

3) I'm a really skilled knitter. I rarely have time these days, but there have been periods when you'd hardly see me without needles in hand. I'm not great at making large, repetitive patterns, but there's almost no such thing as a pattern too hard for me. The more complex, the more I have to figure out, the happier I am. (Except Fair Isle type colorwork. I can do it, I just don't like to.)

4) I used to tutor Spanish and math in high school. I never quite made it to fluency in Spanish, but I was really good at helping beginners start to feel comfortable with the language. And I come from math-loving people, so although I tend not to think of myself as exceptionally good at math, it's always been familiar and fun for me.

5) We are a one-car family, and, except for a short time when my partner was working nights in a city 60 miles away from the bike-unfriendly town we were living in, we always have been.

6) I didn't have my hair cut, at all, until I was 16. Since then, I have shaved it bald, dyed it dozens of times, spent five years not ever cutting or dying or blow-drying it, let it grow, cut it myself, and splurged on quality salon styles. Mostly recently I've gone butch-short, and I absolutely unabashedly love it.

Want to play along? Leave 1-6 things about yourself in the comments, or share a blog link where you've answered!

Meet the massage therapist's healthcare team

Even massage therapists need someone to help them relax and be well, right? Well, I'm lucky enough to have a whole team. Among them are:

Reina, aka Catareina the Feline Queen, in her favorite spot

Specialties include heat therapy (seen here applying warmth to my neck and shoulder), relaxing high-speed vibration, and the best two-pawed kneading in town. She's the applied-bodywork therapist, but I also have on my team:

Chaos, aka KC McChaos, in his favorite spot (and mid-lick)

He's responsible for overseeing the movement part of my healthcare regimen. He makes sure my arms get a thorough workout while my hands get a luxurious furry sensory experience. He's quite emphatic about the therapeutic effects of walking, and is playful but strict about ensuring that I partake frequently. The prescribed distances have shortened in recent years, but he hasn't given up on my health yet.

Sure, I also have at my disposal and occasionally call upon the skills of a massage therapist, a physical therapist, a chiropractor, a physician, two children (what Chaos lacks in exercising my endurance, they work diligently to more than make up for), a gaggle of friends, a lifemate, and my own self and experience, but honestly, I'm just not sure my wellness would be where it is today without these two.

Who's on your healthcare team?

"Why should I trust you?" Or, the most common question I get from people who aren't yet comfortable with massage

Tiny Flowers, CC licensed by WhatiMom on Flickr

The question is rarely phrased this way. Usually it's hidden behind a cascade of questions about the details of how a massage session works, or in the silent void of no questions at all. It's in "Oh, I can't imagine doing that" and "Haha, no one wants to see this body naked." It's the pushed-away pull of unmet needs. "Why should I trust you?" and even more simply: "Can I trust you?"

And here's my answer: I don't know if you can. And I'm not sure you should.

What, really? That's the answer you're going with?

Yup.

I'm not sure you can trust me because trust is very little about me and almost everything with you. And I'm not sure you should trust me, because I don't know how not-trusting is serving you in this moment. But if you're disinclined to trust, I trust that there's a very good reason for that. Distrust can be protective. Distrust can be a healthy, appropriate response to trauma, to life in a marginalized body.

Distrust can also get in the way of healing, of health, of connection -- and if you want to work around it, past it, through it, I am absolutely here for you.

But I can't say whether you can trust me. And I won't say whether you should. My hope for you, if you're asking this question (aloud or danced around or behind the fortress walls inside your mind), is that you learn more and more to trust your judgment, to evaluate your dis/trust for its reasonableness and accuracy (or lack thereof), to sift through your experiences and habits and beliefs and patterns of relationship for what is valuable -- because so much of it is! -- and to allow yourself to leave behind that which you decide no longer serves you. I'll be so happy for you if that happens, whether or not it results in me specifically gaining your trust.

A promise I can't make -- and many more I can

I cannot promise I will be entirely safe for you. All ways of feeling about and relating to your body are welcome on my table, without judgment, without exception. But I am human, and you are human, and I do not know with perfect certainty how to avoid all unwanted triggers of painful memories and feelings. I cannot promise absolute safety, and I won't do you the disservice of pretending I can.

But I can promise that I will show up with my full presence if you choose to work with me. I will be here with you in this moment and hold the space for whatever is alive for you, whatever you are working through with your body. I will offer you informed choice for any treatment. I will ask your permission for where you wish to receive touch. I will respect your desires for areas to be covered, to be avoided, or to be honored and acknowledged without touch. I will allow you to see all records I keep about our sessions. I will never speak of your confidences outside of my office, except as required by law for your and others' safety. I will admit my ignorance when it exists and the limits of my work and my expertise. I will create a space where you and your beautiful-amazing-resilient-hurting body feel welcome and supported to the best of my ability. And I will never tell you to stop asking questions and just trust me.

Why should you trust me?

I don't know. But I hope you can answer that for yourself.

5 Therapies Complementary to Mindful Massage

"Feldenkrais" by waltercolor on Flickr. Creative Commons licensed

While no one can or should pursue every treatment modality out there, most people find that combining two or three complementary practices most efficiently supports their healing process. To that end, here are five therapies I find support the work I do in massage, and vice versa, and mention which health conditions or goals are best suited for each in my experience and opinion. (Items are listed in no particular order; I could not pick a top favorite out of any of these!)

1) Feldenkrais Method of Somatic Education

(Related modalities include the Alexander Technique and Spacial Dynamics.) Feldenkrais Method could be called "neuromuscular reprogramming". It could also be called "movement integration", "coordination training", and "bloody effective". The goal of Feldenkrais, whether one-on-one sessions or group classes, is to bring awareness, ease, and function to previously limited or painful movements and activities. I recommend it for people with old injuries that are continuing to hinder their desired activities, but I also have found it useful for clients who, for reasons of trauma or dysphoria, have an incomplete "mental map" of their bodies and potential movement.

2) Chiropractic

For some acute and chronic injuries, and for many of the physical aches and pains of pregnancy and new parenthood, I highly recommend a good chiropractor. In my experience, most pregnant people and new parents (whether they gave birth or not) would benefit from care with a skilled, parenthood-focused practitioner. Chiropractic adjustments can help you, well, adjust to the quite different demands of life with a baby.

3) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

(Otherwise known as just "therapy" or "talk therapy", though it is important to note that non-CBT methods of talk therapy do exist.) While massage performs excellently at reducing anxiety and assisting in processing emotions, any significant psycho-emotional concerns should also be addressed under the care of a licensed counselor or therapist. Many times we "bring up" old history or emotions on the table, and CBT can help you understand and shift your thinking around those events or feelings.

3a) EMDR, or eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing, may be especially effective at "clearing out" the feelings sometimes awakened in massage.

4) Dialectal Behavior Therapy

DBT, as opposed to CBT, is a specific protocol, grounded in both mindfulness and entirely mundane practical skills, that excels at treating "personality" disorders, eating disorders, and other mental health conditions that are not well-served by other forms of traditional treatments. I am unlikely to recommend DBT to any client, but I find mindfulness-based massage makes an excellent adjunctive therapy for people who are successfully using DBT.

5) Fat Yoga or Curvy Yoga

Yes, I'm a fan of yoga for people generally, but there's something especially empowering about yoga for those of us who are fat or plus sized. Not only is yoga a wonderful mindful-movement practice, engaging in a workout traditionally seen as only for the ultra-lithe can be a huge subversive self-esteem boost. If you're lucky enough to have access to Fat Yoga, Curvy Yoga, or similar fat-positive classes, I encourage you to check them out -- even if you're not feeling confident about reclaiming those words for yourself yet.

What are your favorite therapeutic modalities or activities, whether to complement or in place of massage?

In the space between making plans and following your breath grows your life

There are roots to watch for, yes,
but also beauty in the journey.
CC image courtesy grant_loy on Flickr

I don't know if anyone has ever mentioned, but starting a business takes just a wee bit of time.

I have been known to understate things on occasion.

I also may have mentioned that I have two small children.

And further, I have plans beyond this business and being a part of this family. (Shocking, but so very true!)

And then yesterday +Barry Hatfield shared a post, titled Finishing, in which he directs the reader:

What do you want to do? What do you want to have finished when it’s time to go? Have you said "I’ve always wanted to …"

Do those things.

And oh, this hits me hard. Because as much as my hurryscurry runaround brain wishes, I cannot do all things, all at once. I probably can't even do all things one at a time. There are days, while building this business, attending to the twenty things that all need to be done yesterday (or last month, or whoops last year), that I get frantic, caught up in the insistence, in the pressure, the unrelenting slipping of time, the thoughts that each day passing is one fewer left to get finished, each hour put toward one endeavor is one less for every other and how can I possibly choose? must! try! to do! more!

And then I stop.

I breathe.

I get/give a massage.

I notice what-is in this moment.

I attend to my beautiful, messy, demanding, miraculous, human body.

And I remember: the only way to finish is to do. And the only way to do, the only way that works for me, is living in just this moment. This breath. This movement. This hour. Paying attention to what is before me now: a client, a child, a class, a chance to plan.

And trusting that in this way, if I be lucky and live my full, I may finish a few worthy works.

A love letter to my body

Body love. CC image by schipul on Flickr

Thank you feet, for being my solid connection to the ground. I love your width, your sturdy shape, your recovering arches.

Thank you ankles, in pain for so long, for learning to be vulnerable again, and so allowing me to stand well once more.

Thank you legs, awesome muscular fat shapely legs, for running and biking and dancing me through life.

Thank you hamstrings, so tight, so like my father's, my brother's, my son's. I love you for reminding me of my limits, of the tangible ways I am who I am from.

My hips. Oh, my beautiful hips. Wide and wiggly and laced so fine with silver, since we were oh so young. Thank you, thank you for relearning to sway, to swing, to bounce, to glide.

You and I, back, we still have our negotiations, and I love you for it. I love you for keeping me honest, for teaching me the frustrating beauty of incremental progress.

I shouldn't have a favorite, shoulders, but I do, and you are they. Round and freckled, strong and smooth, I love your look, your feel, your work, your steady, smooth presence. Thank you for your willingness to just show up, over and over.

Thank you arms, jiggly, strong, streaked, solid arms. You may not be able to push me up, but you hold my babies, embrace my friends, massage my clients, play my music. Thank you for being my way to touch my world.

And arms wrap us back down to belly. You didn't think I'd forget you, did you dear one? Thank you for squishing, thank you for bouncing back, thank you for swaying and sagging and saying I am here and I always will be and thus giving me the chance to learn unconditional, unhindered, enthusiastic love.

I've written whole letters just to you, breasts, my Dorito-shaped queens, so grant me forgiveness as I move on...

Thank you chest, my beautiful chest, for forgiving me for burning you again and again in my reckless sunscreen-skipping youth (of just last summer), for growing freckles and wrinkles, for growing older with me so well.

Thank you neck, for your folds, for your chins, for your length and creaks and quirks. I love you for learning to look behind me again, for learning for the first time to hold my head up high.

And head, well, it's harder here to say "you". So thank you, for being the closest to the "I", for giving the lie to any fiction that I am not my body. Thank you for being the truth that I am you and so my neck, back, ankles, feet. I love you. (I love me.)